Remodeling TOGETHER . . .?
1st let me say that my husband & I get along great & are best friends UNLESS . . . we have to work on a project together. We almost killed each other moving into this house & the D word even came up which we laugh about today but it was not good. So now we’re remodeling the kitchen (flooring, countertops, new sink, backsplash) and he thinks it would be a GREAT idea to do this together. I’m a planner & researcher while he jumps right in & then the cussing & slamming ensues. Maybe a little odd for a girl but I actually used to lay tile for a living. Anyway our neighbor quoted us 00 for labor so we need to buy all the materials and do the demo ourselves which in itself is going to lead to some heated arguments I would suspect. How can I get him to go with the neighbor without hurting his feelings or making him feel like I don’t trust his work or ability? I’m the one paying for it anyway so he’s not coming out of pocket for any of this. He’s just trying to save me some money and do a project together. Or should I just be honest about the reason & tell him we simply don’t get along & I see bad things coming out of this? He’s so excited about it 
It’s not about the colors or design ideas. He trusts me completely with that. It’s the actual work. He turns into a demon & starts screaming at me if something goes wrong on his end. Like he’ll break something or screw something up really bad & then yell at me because he’s frustrated.
Okay maybe I need to develop a better sense of humor about this then. I guess it’s because he works from home & gets bored sometimes so a project is really fun for him while I work constantly & a project for me is just added stress & time I don’t have. I do love the man though LOL!!
I would either 1. Say my marriage is more important than this project, I know we’ll but heads and I would avoid it. Just either HIM do it, or YOU do it. Alone
or 2. Get counceling. Some type of outside force, and yes couples counceling so you guys can figure out why he turns into a demon. Is he forgetting how he acts? Like serious? You guys could calmly discuss this and it how it needs to be done, and figure out why and then a solution. If you can put in the time this could be a good thing for future situations.
But if you’re like me and rather not then just do the first.
Yeah me and my wife go thru some fusses on painting our house, because she wants green while I want blue. I guess every guy could use a woman’s touch every now and then.
If he’s acting like that, I wouldn’t bother "asking" him if you can get the neighbor to do it. You have to put your foot down about this. Either someone else does it, or this remodeling isn’t going to get done. You don’t need to put yourself in the position of being yelled at anymore.
Lol…I guess it comes with the territory of remodeling together and since you know that all of the fussing and cussing isn’t personally aimed at you, it shouldn’t be a problem. You did all of the other remodeling together so why stop now…you want to cherish the memories of nailing, hammering, fussing and cussing together and laughing about it later like you do now.
yes